You're rushing to get everyone ready, making sure everything is perfect. You've spent weeks or even months planning your outfits, you've probably skipped your meal. You've told the kids for the 900th time to just please get their shoes on while you get 5 minutes to get yourself ready.
We've all been there.
All we want is beautiful photos of our families. All we want is a few good smiles. All we want is to finally be in a photo instead of being the one taking it. Then why is it so stressful?!
Our children, (mostly talking about babies and toddlers) don't know any of that. They don't know they will only be there for a 15 minute mini session, they don't understand why they have to sit in one spot and look at a stranger, and smile perfectly. They don't understand why you keep snapping your fingers to look at that stranger. The don't understand why that stranger is covering their face with a big toy.
We expect perfection because it's "only 15 minutes."
We expect perfection because it's "just a few smiles"
We expect our young children to understand why these photos will be so important to us.
We stress because they are so important to us, we get frazzled because they are so important to us, we get mad because they are so important to us.
But in all of that craziness, in all of that stressing over trying to get those "perfect" moments, we are simultaneously ruining the next photo session without even being there yet, giving them a reason to hate it even more next time. We are simultaneously trading in those candid moments that could be smiling and laughing with our children for ones snapping our fingers to look at the camera, rubbing our temples, apologizing, and closing our eyes sighing.
We are forgetting that they don't understand what we're doing, they're just kids, and that projecting the stresses that we have in our minds about how we might look, how perfect we want them to be, etc...we are ruining what could be a beautiful experience!
We are putting so much pressure on them without even realizing it!
So what can we do different? Instead of expecting perfection, maybe we could change our perspective, change our mindset going into a session. There is so much beauty in those crazy candid moments, if we let it happen. There is so much beauty in the connection we have with each other, if we let it happen. Photo sessions can be something the whole family looks forward to every season or every year, if we let it happen.
How do we do that? As hard as it may be, try not to stress! Get your outfits planned out ahead of time, lay them out the day before your session so there isn't so much running around the day of, make a tradition of grabbing a bite to eat before or after your session, let go of the "perfect" expectations, and just look at your session as a chance to have some quality time with your family without the interruption of phones, tablets, and the to do list in the corner of your eye. While I do snap a few of the photos looking at the camera and smiling, I use fun prompts to help your family interact and connect with each other.
We aren't perfect. We have bad days. What if someone made you wear a specific outfit, told you "you better smile and act like you're having fun", or else - how would you respond to that?
What if someone asked you if you wanted to help them shop for something fun you're doing together? What if you didn't even mention smiling, and just let it happen naturally? how would you respond to that?
We forget that these little people whom we love so much are still people, and people with feelings, and how we setup anything we do in life with them is sooo important for how they respond to it! My last example, I will use my daughter - when we go to the doctor, I have always told her we "get" to go to the doctor! We "get" to receive care, I tell her some people don't have that same privilege and that we are so lucky that there are people out there who have dedicated their careers to making sure you're healthy. She never has said she hates going to the doctor, or the dentist, etc...it's ALL about perspective. They don't know from birth what is stressful or scary, they know how we respond to it, how we set it up, and they respond accordingly .
Some of my personal favorite photos of my own family aren't the most flattering or the most "perfect" images I've ever seen of us, it's the silly faces, the interaction, and it's the little ones/dogs running around like the usually do!
So next time you have a session, leave the hallmark family photo at the door, come in as real, as you, as your beautifully real family, and let me do the rest❤️
